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Lucki Islam is a recent high school graduate and a student of the Bronx Junior Photo League, a program of the Bronx Documentary Center. The photos shown here were made during her junior year. |
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The Sun Will Still Rise, but So Will The Moon
Ramadan is a spiritual experience. Trying to capture Ramadan in isolation has been a unique process in which I have been trying to reflect the image of life that is imposed on us during this time. In photographing my family, I have also been reflecting on my own spiritual journey, and what it has meant for me. This is the first Ramadan that has solely felt lonely, despite being in a full house because of COVID-19. As time stands still, and at the same time escapes us, I want the viewers to feel like they are in the same moment as me.
Empty stomachs till sunset,
But souls are filled with content.
Prayer- an outlet,
No regrets when your faith is being tested.
It takes discipline to carry a light heart.
Ramadan- a blooming flower, not the end, always a fresh start.
Facing our gaze inwards,
Forgetting our ego and getting rid of the idea that we’re all sinners.
The gates of heaven are open now,
But it feels like the devil is still sitting next to me somehow.
I remember the heat on my skin when the summer sun was born.
I remember the unbearable humidity as my friends and I complain trying to find shade or a small bit of breeze.
I remember all the snacks I'd save up throughout the day, so my fast was broken with a crazy amount of sour patch kids, granola bars, and goldfish.
And then the days go by, and the gates to heaven close.
I remember now as I lounge in front of the only window I can get fresh air from has been my only escape.
I remember feeling like there was a revolution happening inside of me-
I remember now that my heart still feels heavy-
Even though the hours were shorter than last year
I remember feeling afraid because we only feel scared when we have something to lose.
The new moon is around the corner.
My heart is racing, but I am ready to continue fighting.
I have divorced my spirit from my body.
I am grateful for all the truths I’ve learned and have yet to learn, about myself, and the world.
So no, I cannot tell you what lies ahead.
But know that you are free to open your heart to peace, despite the uncertainties for the next day.
You are free to hold both happiness and sorrow.
You are free to challenge truths, while also being gentle with yourself.
You are free to love, and receive love despite any feelings of unworthiness.
You are free to grace the earth with light feet, no matter what tragedies you are leaving behind.
You deserve to take up space, right here in this very moment, no different, but just as you are.
You are the moon, so you do not think you can be as powerful as the sun.
You have loved so much that for all the souls you considered of being your sun, you lost parts of yourself every night so that they can shine brighter.
But one day you will learn that it is not impossible to coexist in the same world.
There is more than enough room for that because in the end,
The Sun Will Still Rise, but So Will the Moon.
Empty stomachs till sunset,
But souls are filled with content.
Prayer- an outlet,
No regrets when your faith is being tested.
It takes discipline to carry a light heart.
Ramadan- a blooming flower, not the end, always a fresh start.
Facing our gaze inwards,
Forgetting our ego and getting rid of the idea that we’re all sinners.
The gates of heaven are open now,
But it feels like the devil is still sitting next to me somehow.
I remember the heat on my skin when the summer sun was born.
I remember the unbearable humidity as my friends and I complain trying to find shade or a small bit of breeze.
I remember all the snacks I'd save up throughout the day, so my fast was broken with a crazy amount of sour patch kids, granola bars, and goldfish.
And then the days go by, and the gates to heaven close.
I remember now as I lounge in front of the only window I can get fresh air from has been my only escape.
I remember feeling like there was a revolution happening inside of me-
I remember now that my heart still feels heavy-
Even though the hours were shorter than last year
I remember feeling afraid because we only feel scared when we have something to lose.
The new moon is around the corner.
My heart is racing, but I am ready to continue fighting.
I have divorced my spirit from my body.
I am grateful for all the truths I’ve learned and have yet to learn, about myself, and the world.
So no, I cannot tell you what lies ahead.
But know that you are free to open your heart to peace, despite the uncertainties for the next day.
You are free to hold both happiness and sorrow.
You are free to challenge truths, while also being gentle with yourself.
You are free to love, and receive love despite any feelings of unworthiness.
You are free to grace the earth with light feet, no matter what tragedies you are leaving behind.
You deserve to take up space, right here in this very moment, no different, but just as you are.
You are the moon, so you do not think you can be as powerful as the sun.
You have loved so much that for all the souls you considered of being your sun, you lost parts of yourself every night so that they can shine brighter.
But one day you will learn that it is not impossible to coexist in the same world.
There is more than enough room for that because in the end,
The Sun Will Still Rise, but So Will the Moon.
After a long night of staying up for suhoor (last meal before dawn), my mom and brothers were fast asleep. I usually have trouble sleeping at night so I’m left to catch up with the thoughts and unanswered questions in my head. We either wish for the nights to never end or for the morning to come as quickly as possible. Either way, the sun will still rise. And I will rise with the sun. Bronx, New York, May 7, 2020. © Lucki Islam / Bronx Documentary Center
But that’s not normal. It’s not a normal thing for siblings to sleep on the same bed together. Literally I have three younger brothers, so again that’s not something you see very often. But I remember taking that, and I was like, “This is very intimate. This is my truth. This is what I deal with, what I live with.” And I know when I showed my mom that picture she was like, “Why are you taking pictures of us sleeping?” A lot of what I did, they didn’t understand at first until I talked to them about it. I was just like, “Mom, this is just me documenting how this Ramadan is, because it’s very different from how I’ve spent it.” I’ve never really paid attention to what it meant, in general. And so capturing those quiet moments for me was important because I focus a lot on the loud moments, in my head at least. But I love the quiet moments because I feel like that’s my truth. In those quiet moments, that’s what’s happening for me.
TiP: In terms of the work that you do, what is your process for making photographs? Your photographs have an intimacy, but they have a certain feeling of respect as well for the world around you.
Islam: Honestly, when I started this project, I really didn’t know what I was doing at all. I’ve never been used to photographing at home. Obviously, my life to me is normal. But other people didn’t perceive it that way. My normal is not somebody else’s normal, and I think that was the challenging part for me because I see the same thing everyday. So I try to be in different spaces in my home, and just capture what was going on in that moment. A lot of it had to do with how I was feeling. So a lot of the time I would just stand by the window, I had my own corner, you know. When I was in that corner, I observed a lot of things. If it was my family praying, I would get up and go to photograph them, or if we were in the kitchen, I tried to wait for those moments where I saw my brother grabbing food. It’s moments that are just normal, but are not normal, if that makes sense. And I don’t think I really had a specific process. I think it just depended on how I felt in the moment, what was happening. After I took the photos, that’s when I thought about my writing. Because a lot of my writing has to do with how I feel. When I do captions, I feel like a lot of people, they put the details and everything, but I just kind of write it as if it was a diary. I feel like diaries are so personal, and I love writing and journaling. When I want people to come into my world, I kind of want to show them how it is. I don’t know how to explain it. My process is very personal to me and who I am. I know there’s a huge audience that could see that, but I don’t think about that. I just think about if it was for me only. That’s how I go about my process.
Islam: Honestly, when I started this project, I really didn’t know what I was doing at all. I’ve never been used to photographing at home. Obviously, my life to me is normal. But other people didn’t perceive it that way. My normal is not somebody else’s normal, and I think that was the challenging part for me because I see the same thing everyday. So I try to be in different spaces in my home, and just capture what was going on in that moment. A lot of it had to do with how I was feeling. So a lot of the time I would just stand by the window, I had my own corner, you know. When I was in that corner, I observed a lot of things. If it was my family praying, I would get up and go to photograph them, or if we were in the kitchen, I tried to wait for those moments where I saw my brother grabbing food. It’s moments that are just normal, but are not normal, if that makes sense. And I don’t think I really had a specific process. I think it just depended on how I felt in the moment, what was happening. After I took the photos, that’s when I thought about my writing. Because a lot of my writing has to do with how I feel. When I do captions, I feel like a lot of people, they put the details and everything, but I just kind of write it as if it was a diary. I feel like diaries are so personal, and I love writing and journaling. When I want people to come into my world, I kind of want to show them how it is. I don’t know how to explain it. My process is very personal to me and who I am. I know there’s a huge audience that could see that, but I don’t think about that. I just think about if it was for me only. That’s how I go about my process.
TiP: What are your goals? What do you want to do next?
I think photography is always going to be a part of my life. Whether I want to pursue it as a profession, I’ve always found comfort in photographing my friends and my family, just literally capturing those moments. I remember my parents, they videotaped my siblings and us growing up. But I know that my footage got lost. I’m really not sure why. I would always be so frustrated with it. I was like, “Wow, so you have a video of my brothers growing up, but I’m a toddler and I still have nothing?” I love videotaping these moments. Even if it’s just for fun. I post videos on YouTube just to look back and be like, “Okay, this is how I spent this month.” For me, it’s always about looking back and reflecting on how far I’ve come, to be honest. I really love filmmaking, I think that is something I want to look into in the future. I really love telling my truth. I love storytelling. Whether that’s through photography or theatre or art, that’s kind of what I want to do. I just want to tell stories. And if photography is one way I could do that, then I would love to do that.
I think photography is always going to be a part of my life. Whether I want to pursue it as a profession, I’ve always found comfort in photographing my friends and my family, just literally capturing those moments. I remember my parents, they videotaped my siblings and us growing up. But I know that my footage got lost. I’m really not sure why. I would always be so frustrated with it. I was like, “Wow, so you have a video of my brothers growing up, but I’m a toddler and I still have nothing?” I love videotaping these moments. Even if it’s just for fun. I post videos on YouTube just to look back and be like, “Okay, this is how I spent this month.” For me, it’s always about looking back and reflecting on how far I’ve come, to be honest. I really love filmmaking, I think that is something I want to look into in the future. I really love telling my truth. I love storytelling. Whether that’s through photography or theatre or art, that’s kind of what I want to do. I just want to tell stories. And if photography is one way I could do that, then I would love to do that.
(click on an image to see it larger and view its caption)
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